not my season

Man, am I glad this week is over! If you stick with the post, you will see why. :)

1.I was scheduled to work (from home) for the first time since we brought our Colombian sunshines home. The only shifts I can work start at 2:30 and 4:00, which is primetime for Mama Rach….homework, snacks, dinner prep, running interference, etc. Since the work requires silence and my undivided attention, I knew after a couple of stressful days that I had to cancel the rest of my shifts. It is a good thing I did. The next night (when I should have been working), Adam did not get home until 9:30. I had to run Kavika to basketball, make dinner, take Adam dinner, discipline three of the five children–two of which resulted in marathon meltdowns, and get them all into bed since Adam was not home. 

The job is something that I really enjoy. I am able to utilize my writing and editing skills. But I learned this week that our four small children truly require my time, attention, and full emotional capacity. If I am to be the mom I expect for myself then this particular job has to be let go. Alas, it is not my season!

2. Adam and I had an emotionally charged visit from a friend on Tuesday. The visit was in reference to a sacred and special religious event that our family is planning. Unfortunately, and yet again, I am reminded that my fertility issues define every part of my life (even when I am not particularly obsessed). Most parents in our church not only get to name their newborns, but also get to celebrate with family and friends as they bless and welcome their little one(s) into the world and into the church. It is a rite of passage, if you will. A ceremony that most dream about and then take for granted.

For our little McFamily, Daniel’s baptism, and subsequent family sealing, was to be that moment for us. Thank you, friend, for your efforts on our family’s behalf. We appreciate your willingness to not only “go to bat” for us, but also to be so understanding and sensitive in discussing the results of our request. I am not bitter, and I am not angry. I am a little sad. But mostly, I am just reminded! 

3.Kavika, our 13 year old “foster son” (don’t know what else to call him) heads back to Arizona on Monday. Yeah, I know! It is completely out of the blue, and kind of cool. There is a family member who has wanted to take Kavika for awhile, but never considered asking because she thought that Kavika’s grandma was not open to splitting the siblings up. Once they found out that Kavika was gone, and where grandma had sent him, they cautiously approached grandma and asked if they could have him.

This family is well-suited for Kavika. They live just one town over from his grandma and sister. He will continue on at the same middle school. And the family’s children are closer to Kavika in age than our little ones. In addition, this family member, and her husband, feel spiritually led and directed to do this–which makes them excited and overjoyed. We just found out yesterday…and they want to pick him up tomorrow. The uncle flies his own plane, and the weather is not looking good, so he is shooting for Monday morning.

Kavika has grown up a little since coming here, and he has learned a few life lessons. We are happy to have provided that for him. I have been especially hard on Kavika because I want him to learn the lessons that discipline and hard work can provide. He has responded like a champ, showing that he is teachable and moldable, even at 13. We are grateful that we were the catalyst that opened the door for this family member to take charge of him. If we had not taken him, they never would have asked. So that makes us feel good. I am a little sad because Kavika has really grown on me the past month. But alas, it is not my season!


That is how it’s done around here! A seemingly calm, mundane, and ordinary week ended up actually changing the course of our family. The upsides–my children get me totally full-time. The church is still true, and prayers are individually answered. Kavika’s future is bright. And the best part of my week– I spent an hour on the phone this morning with a dear friend from college. Just hearing her voice envigorated me. My spirits were lifted by our conversation, which had nothing to do with said crappy week. And she has no idea how the timing of her phone call impacted my day. My life continues to blessed by the relationships I have fostered throughout it. And that is a blessing from heaven.